Get It Wrong, Get It Right
by tied.knots
Summary: This time things are and will be different. Holiday one shot on post canon Olitz


_Christmas tree farms in dc…operating hours…open until 10pm_

 _Hmm this place looks cute and is not so far from the city…plus we can do it late at night._ Olivia thought to herself while scrolling through her phone's search results. It was the week right after Thanksgiving and by tradition most people would start putting up their Christmas trees. That was definitely the case at Quinn and Charlie's when she was there over the weekend together with Huck and Abby for their first Thanksgiving-slash-house warming party with baby Robin. Even her dad of all people asked her during Thanksgiving dinner if she would like to accompany him to pick a tree. Seeing and hearing people getting ready for the next big holiday has her feeling a mood and here she was browsing at what her phone has pulled up for her and at the same time thinking if she can invite _him_ to it while she waits for him to finish reading an urgent email.

It's their first time seeing each other since Fitz came back from California where he spent his Thanksgiving to lend help and support to the wildfire that struck his home state. Before the holiday she was unsure of what his plans were or if she should ask him if they were going to spend it together. The main reason that was holding her back was that she was still scared. Although they are more or less together in some way ever since the threat of imprisonment over the outing of B6-13 has been lifted, she didn't know how to approach their relationship so she kept silent which was always her default approach. Next thing she know Fitz was telling her that he needed to go to California right away together with Karen who volunteered along to help out. Even Mellie flew in there on Thanksgiving Day because Teddy didn't want to be away from his dad and sister plus it ended up boosting her ratings a little to her delight.

"Oh there's still some left in the bottle," Fitz mentioned after shutting down his laptop. He noticed the bottle of scotch that Liv brought with her sitting on top of the work desk. He got back late last night and was overall exhausted from his trip so he decided to work from his hotel suite earlier today. Olivia then dropped by around dinnertime and they wasted no time getting acquainted with each other after not seeing one another for a little more than a week. "Care for a drink?" Fitz asked as he turns around to look at her, a vision wrapped in white sheets on the king sized bed. "Not really. Are you coming back to bed?" Olivia replied back with a small smile. He returned her smile with one of his sly ones and stood up to go near her. She locked her phone and placed it on the nightstand on her side as she pulled back the sheets for him. When he was lying back beside her she rolled up to his side and lie on his chest while he closed his eyes and roamed his hands around her tiny body.

"When do you plan to put up Christmas decors?" Olivia asked. Although to him it was a question that came out of nowhere, she just couldn't help but blurt out what has been occupying her mind.

"What? What do you mean?" Fitz answered back clearly confused to her question.

"Well Thanksgiving is over and now people are getting ready for Christmas. So when are you going to décor like putting up a tree?" She followed up and tried to appear casual about it at the same time but truthfully her nerves were all over the place on how this conversation will take place.

 _A topic over normal things! What is wrong with me?_

"Well I haven't really thought about that actually." Fitz paused for a moment as he tries to think of what to say next. This was definitely a topic that he wasn't expecting from her and it is one that he's really unsure of. Over the recent years, it was something that he has disassociated himself with except when it came to his Presidential and fatherly duties. Outside of that it is one that he would rather not deal with especially after that _event_ two years back. "I don't really have any plans to do so. Besides Liv I'm currently living in a hotel suite so it's not really umm…practical."

She was taken a little back by his answer and noticed that there was a sense of hesitation somewhere. To her it seemed like Fitz wasn't really looking into getting into the spirit of the holidays, which surprised her because given his sentimental nature, she would expect him to be one of those who are always looking forward to it. A part of her thought he would maybe propose some plans to spend it together as a first for both. Well technically there was a time that it would have been first but then…

 _No Olivia don't go there!_

"Oh umm yeah that's right not really practical to put up some here," she agreed with Fitz trying to appear not fazed with his response and being logical about it. _Why didn't I think about his living situation? Was I just expecting that we go out to pick a tree and then go back to my place to decorate it when he doesn't even stay there with me? Why is it that for such a normal and simple thing to do it still comes around as difficult for them?_ With so many questions swirling in her mind, Olivia wanted to shut them down and there's always one proven way to do it. She started running her hands languidly over his chest to which he hums in content. Little by little she lets her hand go lower and lower until it was nearly above his pubic bone.

"Liv," Fitz grunted as he felt himself getting hard by her touch.

"Hmm I think I would like a drink now," she huskily said as she continued with her teasing. Her hand was rubbing lazy circles on his chest before bringing it lower.

"Hmm I'll go get it," he rasped out as he attempted to get up and reach for the bottle

"No not that kind of drink I have in mind," Olivia stops him with a devilish naughty smile as she rolled on top of him and started kissing him slowly at first followed by lightly sucking his bottom lip. Once his lips parted, Olivia moaned softly into him as their tongues swirled around each other. They were making out for a while reveling in the feel of each other. His hand were roaming all over her body from her back to her thighs and finally settling on her ass while he guides her rocking back and forth on him. Low moans and groans were filling the room as they continue to get lost in their kiss. Olivia then started going down on him and leaving a trail of kisses behind until she reached his shaft and started stroking it.

"Liv…liv," Fitz moaned with his heart racing and his arousal building.

It's not often that Olivia gets the upper hand in bed especially when it comes to oral sex. That was always his specialty, his superpowers that she unabashedly loves on her. But seeing him right now surrendering to her touch is turning her on. She pressed a small kiss to the tip followed by a series of kisses and licks down his cock before finally taking him in her hot and warm mouth

"Fuck baby"

* * *

"Olivia thank you for taking the time to look into this even though the holidays are now in full swing. Can't believe it's already December. It's like after January, the year passed by so quickly and next thing you know it is time to pick out a tree and order your gifts among other things. How is it going for you Liv? How are your Christmas preparations going? Looks like you got it all handled. I mean look at you! How can you stay looking impeccable with all of the holiday stress around?"

One of Olivia's law school classmates got in touch with her recently for a possible case that needed her help. Ever since she walked away from Mellie's offer to go back and work for the White House a couple of months back, Olivia found herself getting some proposals here and there that are in lined with the work that she has done with Fitz and his institute. Some of them she brought over to Fitz and over the recent months she has become quite a main stay there with everyone familiar to her by now.

"Oh umm you know just the usual like you said. Pick a tree…maybe with my dad because he just asked me about it, prepare gifts, and other holiday stuff," Olivia replied followed by a nervous chuckle as she walked her classmate out of her apartment.

"Well good luck to us in getting through this holiday rush. Thanks again Liv and I would really appreciate it if you can pitch this to former President Grant's institute. Wishing you and him a wonderful Christmas ahead. Bye Olivia."

After her classmate left she can't help but think if she referred to her and Fitz as a couple. No one has really asked her as to what's the status between the two but people around her however often refer to them like as if they come as a unit. It's one of the things that continues to filtrates her mind to no end because she doesn't really know how to exactly factor him and them in her life. For the first time in a long time, her life right now is a blank canvas and she is committed to trying to see what works and what's not. Her and Fitz though is one big bundle of question marks. She is well aware that there are a lot of unspoken things about their relationship and she is pretty sure that Fitz is also aware of those. Both are now free – he no longer anymore a married President and her no longer DC's top fixer and working for the administration. So what exactly is still stopping them from freely living in their relationship?

She heard her phone buzzed which brought her out of her own thoughts. Thankful for the distraction, she saw that it was Abby letting her know that she's about to leave her place and will meet her soon in the bespoke toy shop where they plan to get Robin's gift. While it's not her first time being a godparent, it's her first time to really act like one and given what she put Quinn through; she feels she has a lot of making up to do. This also reminds her as well to make it a point to visit Michael soon and buy Ella's gift as well.

Not so long after Cyrus resignation, she got a call one night from his household help that he passed away in his sleep. It didn't come as a shock to her to be honest seeing how he truly lost everything and that he was the orchestrator of his own demise. Still hearing the news made her shiver with fear and got her thinking if she continued on that path, would she have met the same fate too? In that call she found out that there was a letter addressed to her, which was found on his bedside table. Once she got hold of the letter, it contained instructions of his will statement and that everything he owned will be under Ella's name. There was also a goodbye letter with him telling her that she will always be his best student and for all that happened he doesn't regret bringing her to work for Fitz's campaign. Olivia didn't think twice to work right away with his lawyers and got in touch with Michael for a visit. For all of the madness that she experienced in her relationship with Cyrus, she feels she owes this at least to Ella. At first she was scared and embarrassed that Michael will not allow her to see Ella. To her relief he was more than welcoming and is truly one of the kindest people she now knows on this planet. She didn't make any promises to be an active godparent but on her end she does try to keep in touch and see them once in awhile.

Going back to reading Abby's message, Olivia proceeded then to get her things and heads out her apartment for their meet up. Although she has a lot of unresolved matters in her personal relationship, that will not take up the forefront and distract her in making sure that she gives the best Christmas gift to her goddaughters.

* * *

"Hey Liv, can I ask you something," Fitz inquired and looked up from his phone screen. It was Sunday night and they were at her place currently tucked in bed after a few rounds of lovemaking. "Sure what is it," Liv replied as she nuzzled herself closer to his side.

"Well umm I'm looking at this gift I want to give Ella for Christmas but I don't know how to get in touch with Michael. Would you happen to have his contact? I would really love to give this to her."

Olivia gives him a warm smile and responded back, "I do have his contact details. I'm actually also planning to send my gift there soon. Michael would greatly appreciate this Fitz."

Since they are on the topic about the holiday she decided to bite the bullet and simply ask what has been on her mind. "So how do you plan to spend Christmas this year? Any exciting holiday plans?" Olivia probed casually trying to make it appear and sound like a normal question to ask. They were approaching the second week of December after all.

"Nothing special or new. I just agreed with Mellie to spend Christmas Eve at the residence. It's a first for the family to be all-together you know ever since…" he paused for a sec upon realizing what he is about to say, "ever since our divorce. It's good. Nice of course for all of us to be complete just like Thanksgiving. Also you know Mellie, she thinks it would be great for the American public to still see that although we are both separated that we can still celebrate some things together," Fitz explained albeit a bit carefully when the topic of divorce came around. He is finding it a bit odd of Olivia to ask him about Christmas or even to just mention it at all.

"So you're only there for Christmas Eve?"

"Yeah I'll be staying there overnight on the 24th. After that maybe I'll go to Santa Barbara and spend New Year's there. I'm not sure yet it's just something I've been toying around with plus I figure it would be a nice break from the cold weather here. Get some sun and catch up with old friends."

 _So he does have plans that he made up already_. Olivia thought to herself. A little bit surprised although she's not sure if she should. She thought all along that he was not really in the mood to celebrate but it turns out he does have plans only that it doesn't include her in it.

"Oh..I guess those sound great. Just great" She turned away from him and scooted to her side of the bed somehow trying to shield herself from him and protecting her feelings after collecting this new information.

Fitz heard the disappointment in her voice and noticed that she distanced herself away him. He wonders if there was something in what he said that made her upset. "Liv everything okay?" he asked her as calm as possible.

"I'm fine" she replied back with a clipped voice.

He knows that whenever she says she's fine that she is most certainly not. Now he is about to thread some dangerous waters whenever he can sense that something is bothering her. He carefully puts his right hand at the small of her back and asked her gently again.

"Liv what's wrong? I just...I just want to make sure you're okay. You are obviously bothered with something."

"Fitz didn't you just listen to what I just said?! Then again you never really listen do you? I said I'm fine. Look I had a tiring day so I'm going to bed now. If you have a problem with that then you are welcome to not staying the night here," she replied back bubbling with irritation.

Clearly he is now in dangerous waters.

If he wanted to save himself the headache he could just let it go and follow her lead to ignore what's happening or dive right in to get some answers but be ready for her outburst and some heavy tongue lashing. So is it option A or B?

"Olivia we both know by now that when you say you're fine that really means that you are not–"

"Will you stop!"

Olivia turned around to face him and blasted him as she cuts off Fitz from finishing his sentence. She was starting to feel too much again and she wanted to get a hold of her emotions. "Why can't you just leave it Fitz? Do you always have to be this pushy and demand so much from me?"

"Olivia I don't understand where this is –"

"You want to know what's wrong? Fine. What exactly is this to you Fitz? What are we even doing at this point?"

The conversation was getting murky for Fitz. He wants to know where this sudden anger from her is coming from without letting his emotions get in the way. He learned things the hard way when it comes to them and he doesn't want this to end up in another heartbreak so he's trying to thread this conversation as careful as he can. "What exactly do you mean Liv? Can you help me out here and understand the problem?"

"Are we together? Do you know what you want with this us - this thing between us because if not then why are you still here? I thought you always wanted to live in Vermont and make jam. You could be decorating the house right now for Christmas and doing some other goddamned Hallmark approved activity yet instead you are here cramped up in a hotel suite which for the life of me I do not understand why you choose to stay in that boring place over a mansion that you had built? You're here acting like you're unfazed that it's Christmas or just don't really care enough for us to spend it together?

After her sudden outburst Olivia felt the need to leave. She feels like the room is getting smaller and the walls are closing in on her. However they are both in her place, which only leaves her with nothing but to make Fitz leave. A few minutes have passed and the more time goes by the unexpected awkward turn of their conversation continues to make the air be filled with more fraught. Just when she was about to suggest for him to leave, Fitz spoke up and it wasn't the answer she was expecting.

"I'm scared."

"Terrified actually. I'm still scared Liv"

Olivia looked at him and saw the pensive look in his face. There was fear and a lot of uncertainty especially in his eyes. It seemed like something has been distressing him for a while now. Fitz looked back at Olivia and he can't exactly picture her reaction. She was obviously still distraught from her outburst earlier, there's a hint of anger, and sadness swirling all over her face. He doesn't know if it is a good time to talk about this or if there ever really is one at all. He starts to wonder if he should leave and give her some space instead until he saw her give him a small nod, silently urging to continue explaining.

"I'm scared of this," he solemnly continued while referring to the space between the two of them with his hand. "You asked why I'm still here and what I want when I also keep on asking myself the same but about you. I never...I never thought I would get to be in this place again with you after you chose to end things two Christmases back. "

Olivia eyes widened at the mention of their break up. "We both decided to end things Fitz."

"Olivia the only reason why I agreed is because you made it clear that you didn't want me and that you wanted out," he quickly rebutted to her response.

Silence once again fills the room as the mention of their breakup started to stir some unresolved feelings for both.

"I still can't get over this fear…that I'll just continue to disappoint you and you'll be reminded of what happened during that time we were together in the White House and all the other times that I ended up disappointing you. After you left it was just clear to me that this is over for you and that I just have to simply accept it. No Vermont, no us, no jam like you said. I wanted to disassociate myself with so many things after that night and I guess Christmas is one of them because it is still…it's still painful." He barely uttered the last word almost nothing more than a whisper. His voice was obviously laced with pain, regret, and fear.

As Olivia listened to Fitz she realized that neither of them ever moved on from that night. If she was being honest with herself she never really took any steps to process the breakup. After walking away and settling back in her apartment with her new couch she thought she could easily take him out of her life and move on.

That wasn't the case.

Olivia remained silent and she felt tears were starting to crowd her eyes. This is why she always avoided talking about their relationship. She hates feeling her emotions and most importantly she hates feeling weak to them.

"I keep on having so many question up to this day about you and about us: Is this still real? What if she regrets turning down Mellie's offer to work back in the White House? What if she soon realizes that she should have pick Jake all these years over the ineffectual ex-president? You asked me what I want and the answer still remains the same. It will always be the same. I want you and I want us together. I still want Vermont but here is fine too, or both. or wherever as long as we're together but I'm also scared to want those. I would love nothing more than to celebrate Christmas or any holiday with you but at the same time I don't want to push and make you feel cornered to do something that you don't want –"

Fitz was stopped midway in his speech when he suddenly felt Olivia's lips on him. It took him awhile to realize what's happening but he eventually settled into the kiss. She was kissing him with a fervor pouring out all the emotions and things she wished she had the courage to say. Soon they broke apart to breath and pressed their foreheads together. Lips just barely touching and breathing each other's air, they started to breathe in sync. Unshed tears can be seen in both their eyes and Olivia gently laid her hands on his chest.

"It's real. This is real. I…I'm scared too Fitz. It's why I left in the first place. It's why I always leave because I'm the problem. We weren't going to work out as I expected. I didn't know what I want. I thought we were over too but then somehow we got back together again and I really did want you to stay. Now we're here and everything is still so hard just when I thought finally we're going to be happy. What if we can never get this right?" It was like a button was finally pushed and Olivia started rambling all these things about them. Tears were flowing down her face nonstop which Fitz hates seeing more than ever. He tried to wipe away her tears and comfort her to stop her from having a full-blown breakdown.

"Liv, hey, breathe Liv, just breathe. Deep breaths okay." After her breathing have even out Fitz continued to comfort her and made sure that she was more at ease, "Do you want to talk? We don't have to if you don't want to or if you're scared. We don't have to do it now. Just take your time." Olivia wiped her tears and Fitz's as well before she started talking again. "I'm really scared Fitz about this. We do have talk if not now eventually we do need to face those fears. You obviously have been harboring a lot of things inside of you for so long. I don't…I don't want you to feel scared when you're around me and to continue keeping those things to yourself.

"Just like you too Liv. I want you to feel safe. I hate the fact that I made you feel like a prisoner back then. I'm sorry and I never really thought through with my actions just like what happened in Vermont. Liv I never intended it to–"

"Fitz!" Olivia interrupted wanting him to slow down as well. "We both obviously have a lot to deal with. Too many if we're keeping it real. Just like what you said we don't have to lay it all out now," Fitz agreed and nodded to her statement. "Whoever our therapist will be will surely have a field day with us." It was Olivia's turn to stop Fitz from spiraling knowing that they both have a lot to work out on and one sitting is not going to be enough. He chuckled lightly at her last sentence, which made her smile a little.

"You said you want us to spend Christmas together but you're scared because of what happened in the past." Liv stated carefully as she tries to revisit the topic that caused this mini breakdown to happen. "Yes. Except for spending time with kids and doing the required telecast greetings as President that was just mainly it for me. This year is just the same minus the telecast greeting obviously," Fitz replied but still his face was etched with a bit of fear. Olivia placed her hands on his shoulders and looked at him before continuing with what she has to say, "Then we have to make new memories to replace the bad ones. I want to celebrate Christmas, to feel and enjoy it but not by myself. I want to spend Christmas with you. "

"Okay. What do you have in mind?"

Olivia paused for a moment as an idea came into her mind. "You mentioned earlier about getting a gift for Ella. How about we both visit her and give our gifts personally? We can start there plus Fitz we are like the worst godparents. We need to make up to her and Michael too." Fitz told Olivia that he likes her suggestion and thinks it's a good start for them.

"I also think that I want to pick a tree. It seemed like everyone around me is doing that or has done it. During Thanksgiving at Quinn and Charlie's that was the only thing she kept on nagging Charlie. She even had this onesie customized for Robin because it will be her first. Abby already got hers last week, which she did with Huck. That was really sweet of him. Oh guess what even my dad is getting a tree! He asked me to accompany him this week. So yeah I want to pick and decorate a tree. Hmm maybe I should look into getting a stylist instead for that décor part. They get paid for that job."

Fitz looked at Liv incredulously upon hearing this. "You want to pick a tree? Why not just order online and have it delivered here instead to save the hassle?"

"Fitz I never got to experience that. My parents due to their _busy jobs_ would just always order one so by the time I get home there's always one proudly standing already. Do you not want to do this?

"No it's not like that! I never got to experience it too growing up. Everything was always just I guess taken care of by mom's assistant."

"Then we have a first for us!" Liv exclaimed excitedly at the thought.

"Liv the thing is…that's a public activity. Although the press no longer hounds me constantly like before it will still get people talking. Maybe we're rushing quite a bit here." The only public space that the two of them have frequently inhabited is at the institute. Still everyone there knows that whatever happens there is strictly business and transactional. "Fitz I don't want to care about the cameras anymore," Olivia said in exasperation. She's truly tired of having to constantly think about the public's perception especially when it comes to their relationship. "However I thought of maybe we can do it at night time instead so that it is less crowded but without the need of having to close the whole space." Fitz nodded to her idea and continued asking her more about what she wants to do for Christmas.

"We are picking the tree for your place right? I'm just making sure I'm getting this right since I'm staying in a hotel and all"

"Yes of course and also I've been meaning to ask you this but why are you still staying in a hotel suite? Fitz it's like what eight months or so since you got back here in DC. I don't get it."

"Well I don't mind staying there because it's convenient for me. It's close to work and the White House for my dates with Teddy".

"It's just that if we are going to make this work then you can also just start staying with me. "

Fitz was silent for a while as he carefully navigates his response. "Liv I just don't want a repeat of what happened back when we were together. Right now our setup seems to work. I just don't want you to feel like I'm suffocating you"

Now it was Olivia who is silent as she lets his answer sink in. Although two years have passed, it is only now that she is starting to the see lingering effects of their breakup on him.

"We really have a lot to unpack from that night do we?" she somberly replied as Fitz simply nodded back. "Okay how about we continue what we are doing right now but with a schedule. Since we meet more or less like what 3 or 4x a week, you will split your time between here and at the hotel. Later on when we're more at ease, we can look into living together."

"I like that idea Liv. So what's your Christmas plans so far? We can do the 25th if you're free."

"Yes! I'll be spending Christmas Eve with my dad and then do brunch at Quinn's. After that I'm free and we can hang out before you leave for Santa Barbara"

"Actually now I'm thinking of foregoing Santa Barbara and stay here with you instead"

"But Fitz you seemed to want to go there though. Plus you deserve to have a vacation."

"I want to spend time with you more. That's what I want"

"What if…would you want me to go there with you?"

"Liv are you sure about this? I was thinking of spending a week there plus how about your friends and family here? Aren't you spending New Year's with them."

"Fitz I don't think that's a big deal for them. I mean I'm meeting them for Christmas too plus I just spent Thanksgiving with them. This…this is a first of us. Plus I think I would like a different kind of New Year's celebration too. I'm free now so why not? Okay maybe I don't have to be there for the whole week. I can follow when it's nearer to New Year's Eve so that you also have some time to enjoy catching up with your friends."

Fitz can't help but to kiss her after listening her response. She kissed him happily right back and they fell into a languid kiss. "Ms. Pope did we actually just had a conversation?" Fitz uttered between kisses and ran his fingertips lightly over her curves.

Their slow kisses become deeper as they continue to suck on each other's tongue and Fitz rolling on top of her. Thing were heating up quickly as Olivia starts to grind her core against his hardening erection. She moaned into his mouth with every beat as she feels her desire rise and her arousal building.

"Yes", she whimpered while getting caught up and feeling hazy from their kissing. "We surely just did."

"Is there anything else you want Liv?" He slides one of his hands down between them and gently strokes her folds.

"Oh fuck," she hissed at the sensation. "What do you have in mind mister?"

Fitz broke off the kiss and started to descend down on her. She smiled in anticipation of what's to come as she feels him leave a trail of kisses from her chest to her stomach until he finally reached his destination.

" _Oh yes baby"_

* * *

 _So this one shot just randomly popped in my head after simply seeing people around me start putting up their Christmas trees after Thanksgiving. I love exploring post canon Olivia and Fitz and I hope that you all like this do over I had in mind for them right now._


End file.
